Avery McAvoy does not have a crisis of conscious often. What she does could be considered selfish and ruthless, especially as she fully understands the damage she is doing to the boys she manipulates. She does not deny that she is responsible for her actions and that in the end, she’s not the one who gets hurt by her game. But it doesn’t really matter much to her, not usually, as the boys will get back up on their feet eventually and perhaps learn a lesson in the long run about who to trust. And sometimes they don’t get hurt at all, don’t realize that it wasn’t a random fling but a planned seduction that they’d been aware of for weeks. Whatever the outcome and whoever the subject, Avery McAvoy has never spared a second thought for the boy, or for what she is doing. She doesn’t even think about why she does this, at least not beyond the rudimentary, it’s entertaining sense. It just doesn’t matter much.

But when she sits next to Note on the lip of the stage, her legs dangling into the orchestra pit and her knee only a few empty centimeters of air away from his, Avery realizes exactly what she’s doing. Note looks at her with all the trust in the world, imploring her to confide him, to let him be the support she’s perhaps been seeking for years, and she realizes that he’s maybe the nicest guy she’s ever met in her life. She’s been rude to him, manipulating him, flirting and distracting him when he’s already perfectly happy with Verity, and yet he’s never said one ill-intentioned word to her. He actually wants to be her friend, wants to help her. He has no idea what a foul, cynical bitch she really is.

It’s been months since she first wrote in her journal about Note Chambers, months since she decided to seduce him and try to ruin his precious little relationship in the process. This moment, right now, right here, is what she’s been waiting for, what she’s worked for, and she could lean over and kiss him if she wanted to. He probably wouldn’t stop her, would probably kiss back, and who knows, maybe they’d have sex right on the stage. He has that sleepy, warm look in his eyes, and his arm is still draped around her shoulders in a friendly, I’m here for you sort of way. He’s genuine too, actually interested in her not for her looks or her challenge but for her personality, for her talent.

But is he interested in the real her, or for the person she’s presented? And where does the line lie? Avery blinks, horrified by the pressure building up behind her eyes, and Note frowns, small creases forming on his forehead. Who is she? If you set aside the banter and the sexy walk and the mystery, what is left? Who the hell is Avery McAvoy?

Someone hard, and someone cold. Because how could someone loving and caring do something so horrible to Note Chambers as this? Who could wish ill on this amazing person who has faith in everyone, even awful Avery McAvoy? Oh God, what is she doing? How could she find pleasure in destroying the one person who sees some good in her?

There’s nothing she wants more in this moment to kiss Note. It wouldn’t even be hard, all she would have to do is tilt her head up and press her lips against his. He’d probably kiss back, no, definitely kiss back. She doesn’t know what would happen after that or what would happen to their relationship, and she doesn’t know what she would want to happen. She honestly just wants to kiss him, not because of what would happen next, but in spite of it. Somewhere along the way of this ridiculous, horrible seduction, she’d actually fallen for Note. She’d started to care. And now it’s not so simple as lean up and kiss him. Because if she does, she’ll only end up hurting him. And for once, she doesn’t actually want that to happen.